Children do not have the ability to communicate worries or concerns through words. They just don’t have the vocabulary. Teens have the vocabulary, however, they may lack the maturity and life experience to properly identify the feelings that they are having. Both children and teens are impacted by the influences that surround them.
For a parent or guardian, a traumatic event is frightening. It can be even more frightening and unsettling for children. Like the adults around them, they too experienced the same event. The children in your life have also been exposed to the same photographs, stories in print media and television images.
Children are like sponges, taking in the world. They are very aware when the adults around them are having a strong emotional reaction. They need to have their feelings validated. It is important to remember that a child not talking about an event does not mean that the event is forgotten or has no importance. Children and teens are more likely to express their reactions through their actions rather than words. Be attentive and take special care through this time of chaos and instability.
The children in your life need your reassurance that they are safe with you. It is important to let them know that it is healthy to express emotions and to let them out. During this time, children will likely be highly sensitive and attentive to the adult responses surrounding them.
The children in your care will need reassurance that their safety and security will be taken care of by the adults in their lives. They will need encouragement to express their concerns. An extra hug, talk time or five more minutes before bedtime are some examples of what you can do to encourage and reassure them. Let them tell you what they need by paying attention to what they are doing or asking for.
Potential reactions that you might see in your child
Irritability, agitation, confusion
Withdrawn, denial, sadness
Sleep disturbance, nightmares
Increased anxiety, intense fears
Changes in appetite
Distress due to work or travel related parental absence
Testing house rules, curfew, chores
Quietness, less communicative
Feelings of helplessness or anger
More prone to accidents/clumsiness
Verbal outbursts
Poor concentration
Return/increase of bed-wetting or other regressive behaviour
The reactions are usually temporary and will often subside in three to six weeks. In the meantime though, these reactions can be uncomfortable, impacting concentration, productivity and even disrupting sleep patterns.
What you can do
Don't leave your child alone in a new place
Talk to your child about the disaster
Encourage your child to talk
Say it is OK to be afraid
Tell your child about your plans each day
Be attentive to media coverage adding to you and your child's anxiety/stress level
Put order in your day as best you can
Stay together to show you won't go away
Hold and hug
Listen
Let them know that you were afraid too
Reassure them that they're in a safe place
As long as it can be done safely, let your child help clean up
Explain, talk and listen frequently
Bedtime may be difficult. Your child may be afraid of the dark, not want to sleep away from you and/or may have nightmares or begin to wet the bed again.
What you can do at bedtime
Explain why it gets dark
Praise the child for good things
Leave the light on and the door ajar
Read to your child
Talk about dreams
Don't yell
Agree on a time for your child to go to bed
Tell a story about something good that happened that day
It is important to help your child externalize the feelings. Keeping reactions inside will only serve to have them go into hiding and come back when least expected. Also speak with other parents, caregivers, your child’s teacher or school principal to discuss other ideas and suggestions, support and resources.
Please know that your Members’ Assistance Program (MAP) is here to support you, your staff and their families with their resources. A crisis or traumatic event can trigger overwhelming emotional responses. People are affected in their hearts and minds which can undermine healthy communities and social relationships at home and at work.
Remember that the immediate and confidential Members’ Assistance Program (MAP) service is here for you 24/7 during these difficult times. You can reach out any time for counselling and advice by calling 1.844.578.4040. You can also visit one.telushealth.com for relevant resources and support.
This information is provided by TELUS Health. We encourage you to visit the website for more information. Available services vary by region. Use of MAP services is completely confidential within the limits of the law.